I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote last. Sorry to disappoint you all whne you check for an entry. However, how you are asking for it.....here we go.
I've been very busy lately. i have had 4 Pampered Chef shows which as qualified me as a consultant. In those four shows I also reached my first sales milestone of $1250 which gets me my first set of free products. becky has been a great recuiter especially in dealing with all my questions. I am also being trained in MRI at work. I am enjoying it a lot. I enjoy learning new things.
I have come to the realization that I won't get picked for the biggest Loser. Becky went with me to the casting calls in Columbus. We got there at about 9am. We stood in line for 7 hours in the cold and snow. Once I got inside I had an interview with 15 other people. as most of you can imagine i didn't get much time to opportunity to talk. I walked out of that room knowing in my gut that i wouldn't be picked yet hoped I would at the same time. I won't lie i was disappointed. yet at the same time i learned a lot about myself. I learned I am an extremist. I cna't attempt a 5K i attempt a marathon. I can't set 10 weeks aside at home to get it under control instead i auction to be on a national tv show. I also learned as I was waiting in line and looking at those around me that I am overweight and I know it. However, there were people who needed to be on the biggest loser more than i did. there were also people who i would look at and think what are they doing here. So even though a disappointing experience and learning one yet the same. God likes to do that.. don't you think?
however this leaves me in the same position. i have the knowledge... yet somehow i lack the follow through. It consumes my thoughts yet never becomes an action. I dont' want to trade this vice for another. I need to get to the bottom. i need to face the fear. cause in some ways thats what i think it comes down to--- fear of the unknown... i know the life of being fat... i don't know any other. fear of where thin might lead... relationships, different challenges... what if i'm still not good enough (in my own eyes). In all of this i realize my ultimate prayer would be to be able to look at myself naked and not be ashamed.. of the outside and inside. one day i will deal head on... hopefully one day soon before my life as completely passed me bye.
i love you all for caring and wanting to hear about my life. I appreciate knowing you are out there loving me.
cheryl
8 comments:
you know, you have about 15-16 weeks till my wedding...imagine teh damage you could do!! maybe we should keep each other accountable. i need someone to get me motivated every morning to workout and eat right. Kind of like AA, to call you when i am having a chocolate craving or just dont want to do anything...what you think? ah come on...16 weeks, average 2 pounds a week...that is nearly 40 pounds!!! if you cant do it for you (which i know is part of who you are, undeniable trait of not putting yourself first) then do it for/with me. Its the getting started thats the hard part.
dont waste anymore money on books and movies adn programs...jsut do what you know you have to do. now tell me that every morning!
love you sista! you are beautiful on teh inside either way. you are beautiful on the outside, you ahve striking features, a beautiful smile and great eyes (of course i am boosting myself in the process, cause we look so much alike).
anyway. call me
just wanted to say i love you and i'll support you however. i'm going through the same struggle of losing the weight. but no matter, you are beautiful. god created you for himself and his glory and bring it, you do. he loves you. he thinks you are beautiful. and of course i do too.
i ditto that.
hey sister cheryl. I miss you.
hello?!?!?!? gonna write anytime soon?
hellooooooooo....your're way late on blogging !!!!!!!
Life must be realy keeping you busy
seriously...with all that has happened in life....you still havent written???!?!!!??!
Mrs P
i miss you cheryl ann!!
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